DIET  III. LONG TERM  ISSUES –ACTIVATING OUR INNER POWER. Our Capacity to Change.

Perhaps, one of the most important aspects we have to do while we are trying to change habits or “traditions” is to activate our power to change. Yes, we have a “built-in” ability to change if we have to, the only thing we need is to convince our brain that this change is necessary.

Referring to an INNER POWER can be confusing to some of us at any given time. Perhaps it may even make us think that we do not have any business thinking about possessing our very own INNER POWER. Nevertheless, we were granted the power to care for ourselves by Nature or by a God, or however your faith decides it. I am sure that the God of my understanding wants me to follow healthier habits. As a medical doctor interested in the health of my patients, my intention is to arise some interest in working with something all human already have, this is the capacity to change. I treat people of many different beliefs and it is not my intention to use the word “spirit” in a religious manner. If “spirit” sounds spooky or discouraging; please, change it to “emotional growth” or another word that works for the reader. This also applies to anything I say in my lines, I ask readers to take what works for them and leave the rest. God, or Nature, knows that I am not as perfect as I would like to be.

The problem we face is not easy, if we wish to change for good; we will have to work on the problems that make people relapse or regained their weight, we have to have a well grounded systematic plan that will work when the rough gets going –because life is life and will present us with its usual life challenges that include economical, and family problems that can be very painful. If we are not prepared for them, then our plans are less likely to succeed. In medical psychology we call this change COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING, or simply changing the way we see things so we can cope. It means learning to see the positive in every negative, walking on the shoes of those we judge, and so on. A Persian proverb says:

              “I cried because I did not have shoes until I saw somebody without feet”

Our brain will present our major obstacle towards change.  Our brain has acknowledged every habit or “tradition”, including the way we eat, the type of food we consume, the schedule of our meals, the amount of food we eat, and our response to eating when we are bored, anxious or depressed, as breathing.  If we stopped breathing on our own, the brain will activate a survival mechanism that makes us collapse; the result is that as we collapse, we breathe again and do not die. Therefore, it would be impossible to kill ourselves by trying to quit breathing on our own.  Similarly, if we try to change our habits, our brain will “freak out” believing it is going to die! Things may go well in our first days or weeks of losing weight by eating healthier, but then the brain starts “drawing” us back to our old habits gradually.

The manner our brain works is a very sophisticated and subtle one. It will not directly make us eat more. It will actually make us work more, worry more, skip meals, or make us isolate from our support system. Either of these will put us in a vulnerable position where it is hard to defend from our temptations. It can make us remember the flavor of meals we are being “deprived of” and make us feel “victims”.

The “victim mode” is a frequent and dangerous one because it gives us “a good reason” to relapse. The victim mode says “if you know what I have been through, you will understand why I went back to my old habits”

The way we counteract the victim mode is changing gears into the “survival mode” using a very quick and simple set of words:

The VICTIM mode says “WHY”, while the SURVIVAL mode says “THANKS”.

In a fraction of a second we can change our “pity pot” for container full of assets by simply switching from “WHY” to “THANKS”. The word THANKS allow us to see what we have, while “WHY” is making a long list of what we do not have. We may not have shoes; however, we have not lost our feet. This is COGNITIVE RESTRUCTURING, ...get it?

We use words because life is a game of words, words is the only thing we have to think, to write, to talk, to communicate in the internet, books, media, and so forth. I life is a game of words; we need to learn “HOW TO WIN”. Words can be a cancer if we use them to defeat ourselves with their definition. Let us use the word “good”, for example. The word good was invented for our convenience; it was used to indicate that a food was spoiled or not “good” and that we should avoid it so we would not get sick. Now, we use it to judge ourselves and wondering “Am I “good”? Or “Am I not “good”?

Let us do this exercise, write down the word “good” in a piece of paper , and the word “bad” in another; then and flush them both in the toilet. Yes, just get rid of them and try not to use them for a day, a month, or never! Well, the word “never” is another word we should write and flush in the toilet, too! If we get rid of the word “good” for today, we will not be capable of using it to see if we have a “good” life, or a “bad” life. Do you get the idea?

Our INNER POWER is like a very private bicycle that can only be ridden by us. I cannot pedal anybody’s bike but mine; I cannot pedal not even my children’s bicycle, even though my brain says that I can. The only influence I have in others is my example. I remember that while I was taking a course about mind and body medicine under the direction of Doctor Herbert Benson, there came a section about meditation and exercise program. I was out of the room and Dr. Benson got close to me asking “why aren’t you in the room”. He is not a pushy guy, he was just curious. I remember replying, “I already have an idea how this works and what to tell my patients, I prefer to make some calls to take care of some business instead of wasting time”. He very gently said, “Rafael, if you do not practice this, you cannot pass it to your patients”. I remember this as if it was yesterday; I felt a chill running all through my back. It was the first time I realized that I had to learn to practice what I preached. As a young doctor I always said “do as I say, not as I do; I was not very teachable, I struggled with people telling me what to do. To some extent I still do but I have made a lot of progress, it is easier to listen to my patients, and listen to the people around me looking for potential mentors. One of these mentors told me:

“The only way I can change the world is changing me, I have the power to change the world right now. If I take a deep breath and relax right now, at this very moment the world has become a better world with one less crazy human on the loose!”

These words indicate that in order to change, we need to see the world in a different way; just like seeing it from a different window. That change starts with us. The human being learns “monkey see, monkey do”, and it is our job to lead. The moment we rely on the behavior or the circumstances of others so we can be happy, we are looking for trouble!

Good luck and go to Diet IV!!

© Rafael E. Cuellar, 2009